aren't they precious?

Though nannying has its challenges, who wouldn't want to spend a day with these guys? What a joyful blessing to be such a large part of their lives!

Thank you, Jesus, for your little ones.

beauty's not always vain

I rejoice in the fact that, despite what I often believe, my Father knows every single physical and spiritual detail about me, and still thinks I am precious. According to Psalm 139, I am marvelously made.

I love to watch little girls dance in front of the mirror. Twirling around in dress-up clothes, they have confidence in their beauty. In fact, they know this much better than any adult female; they have not yet been tainted by a society that boasts an unnatural, unattainable picture of what a woman should be. They hopefully have not yet been told they are not good enough, not pretty enough, not smart enough. They haven't bought into the evils of comparing themselves to not only the "perfect 10" woman, but to their friends. They have most likely heard their daddies tell them that they are beautiful, and they don't question it. And though we're not born knowing Jesus Christ, I believe that because we're His creations, we have a certain amount of innate confidence in knowing we are masterpieces of the Creator--confidence that gives way to believing we are beautiful, and confidence that allows us to twirl in front of the mirror without shame. Unfortunately, our views of ourselves change as we get older, and we lose sight of our God-given beauty.

It breaks my heart to know that so many women--myself included--have bought into the lies that the world has fed us and continues to feed us on a daily basis. This video is an amazing song by Bethany Dillon about the desire to see ourselves as beautiful--just as Christ sees us. Him in us makes our spirits beautiful, but as I heard at a women's fellowship recently, our outward "frame" is meant to compliment our inner "picture." In other words, our outer appearance is lovely, too, just because God made it! Ladies, God the King is enthralled by our beauty! We are precious in His sight! We've been tenderly and wonderfully made in the image of God Himself! These are the truths I want to reflect on. As Christ's beloved, I am beautiful. The lies of the enemy---unfortunately what I so often choose to believe--are what's ugly.

Lord, take my heart back to the little girl twirling in the mirror who knows without a doubt she is beautiful.

hey mamas

My sweet niece and the other cutie petutie I sit for schemed up a plan yesterday to both wake up at 4 a.m. this morning, crying and fussing, not be consoled except after being fed. Needless to say their mommies were pretty tired today yet still had to go into work, take care of the children when they got home, make dinner, clean, etc. etc. And did either of them complain about being tired or seem frustrated at all? Nope. After a long day at work, they still had all the love in the world to give to their babies, and even the graciousness to ask about me. There's another example of Christ's selfless love lived out through His followers. So to all of you moms, thank you. You are strong women for whom I have a deep respect. Thank you for the way you love your husbands, kids, and others so well while juggling whatever life throws at you 24/7.

And for those without husbands or father figures for their children, my heart breaks. I cannot imagine being a full-time mommy and a full-time employee without a spouse to share some of the weight. This is the case with many of the families of the neighborhood kids, and though I don't think these moms (and grandmas) want a pity party, I know they want a break (as I'm sure that goes for all moms). I found this video http://youtube.com/watch?v=2DyXkB3OaAw that's a sweet picture of the respect due to single moms. But I think all you moms deserve a huge thanks. You are super women! (Momma Lu, that goes for you too!)

God, thank you so much for mommies.

crazy love

Real love is selfless. Jesus says in Matthew 5 that we are to love not only our friends, but our enemies, too. If we love only those who love us, how are we any different from nonbelievers? I'm really learning about God's call to love Him and others in the way that He loves us--full of grace and mercy, without expecting anything in return. I'm getting some pragmatic experience with this through nannying and hanging out with the kids in my neighborhood. Though neither are what I would at all consider my "enemies" (Matt. 5:44), I've come to realize they can be enemies to my flesh because they call me to love as Christ--beyond human capacity into a way that only He can love through me.

A great example, as I mentioned, is in sitting for my baby niece and another less-than-one-year-old. Most babies younger than 10 months can't talk. Most can't smile or hug on demand. They need to be cared for and loved, but do not yet have the capacity to return a lot of that love. Yes, babies are cute and sweet and adorable, but sometimes I wonder why they cry and fuss just after being held or fed or played with. Can't they instead say, 'Thanks, Aunt Neen-Neen (that's me), for all the great things you do for me. You're the best and I love you!" Could it be that my flesh is screaming, "Jenny, you deserve better! You deserve to care for children who can communicate that they love and appreciate you for all you do for them"? How ludicrous and disturbing! But yes, I'm human and have those thoughts. However, my spirit desires to love them so much that I don't expect them to not cry as I clean up a poopy diaper, or anticipate that they'll flash a smile after I give them a bottle. (Side note: The babies are wonderful and the mommies and daddies are always so grateful. My struggles are no reflection on them or their children.)

Example #2: I've hung out with some kids in my neighborhood on several occasions. I may be off-base, but I believe a few have the idea that they deserve a meal or a gift or a ride somewhere because they are "poor black kids" and I'm a"rich white girl." Although they need to learn better how to say thank you just to be successful in life, I should not expect it to be said. I have to ask myself, "Is the reason I'm doing this to be appreciated and to feel good about myself?" Sounds pretty unbiblical if that's the case. Sure, you feel good when you help others. But again, Jesus calls us to love beyond reason and beyond ourselves. It doesn't make sense to the world to keep pouring your time and money into children that don't seem to appreciate it. But Jesus said to do it so that others may see the selfless love He has for them. I have many of my adult friends in Glenwood to thank for this realization--for your dying to yourselves by living sacrificially and loving our young friends selflessly.

The golden rule is not "Do unto others as they do to you" or "Do unto others so that you get the thanks you think you deserve." It's "Do unto others as you would have them to do you." And even if they don't do unto you as you would have them, love them anyway.

Thank you, God, for your selfless love. Thanks for showing me how to love others selflessly.

better late than never

As a procrastinator, that's pretty much the motto of my life. I've wanted to get this going for a long time, but I admit I've been insecure about others reading my reflections. I'm finally past that, though, and hope that whatever thoughts I end up posting brings an itty bit of joy or encouragement or insight to whomever reads this. I also thought it would be a great way to stay connected with friends and family since I plan on traveling overseas in the next year or so. Thanks to all who are interested in reading! More to follow soon...well, maybe later than sooner.