the gift of christmas

Today some Highlands teachers and I went with a group of Samaritan's Purse folks here in La Paz to hang out with the river kids, share the Gospel with them and deliver shoeboxes to them. It was an incredible way to end the semester with these beautiful children. To be able to see the looks on their faces in a way you can only imagine as you send them from the States was incredible. As it always is, I think I was more blessed and touched than the kids probably were. What a beautiful reminder of God's grace, and of how much we need each other. I daresay some of those kids needed the joy and excitement that those boxes provided, and of course the love with which they were given. I certainly needed to be reminded of God's provision and care for the least of these as well as for myself. At the end of our time, a teenage girl we know was crying. I thought she may have been touched by the team's presentation or the gifts she received. No doubt she was, but she was also very upset. My friend Ashlyn figured out, after a few attempts of listening to her tearful, broken Spanish phrases, that her mom left her and her brothers and sisters. Their dad is still there, but it's not likely he does much to help with the children at all. Please pray for Wara, Pamela, Abdi, Nadalina, Carolina, Yamil and Cristian, that their mom would come back and that the father would step up and take initiative in leading and providing for his family. There being no Social Services department in Bolivia, my roommates and I are not sure what steps to take either. We'd appreciate prayers for wisdom in helping them. Thank you. Although our hearts are heavy for this family, today was a beautiful reminder of hope. Even though the darkness seems overwhelming because of the unfair, unjust circumstances life brings, the Light of the world is more than able to meet our every need and conquer every dark corner. This is the hope of Christmas, and I am so thankful that God is showing me that more clearly this year than ever. O Come, O come, Emmanuel.

let freedom ring

A while ago I posted questions and thoughts concerning freedom in Christ verses the law. Although the Lord is still teaching me a plenty, I have decided upon my current theology based on Romans 8. And although my ideas may change slightly based on wisdom I will hopefully gain, I will always cling to the hope that it is for freedom that Christ has set us free (Gal. 5:1). This is no excuse to sin, of course, but it is an excuse to live by the Spirit, free from the law that I cannot fulfill on my own. That is why Christ came, to be the sin offering for me, so that the barriers are now broken a friendship with God is possible. I will continue to look to Old Testament laws as good moral guidelines, but I know that the Lord calls me to more than just following the rules. He calls me to a life led by the Spirit, a life that is dead to sin and former ways and is alive...fully alive in the confidence and hope of Jesus. He doesn't want me any other way.

Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life has set me free from the law of sin and death. For what the law was powerless to do in that it was weakened by the sinful nature, God did by sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful man to be a sin offering. And so he condemend sin in sinful man in order that the righteous requirements of the law might be fully met in us, who do not live according to the sinful nature but according to the Spirit...those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires...the mind controlled by the Spirit is life and peace...But if Christ is in you, your body is dead because of sin, yet your spirit is alive because of righteousness...For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the spirit of sonship (or daughtership). {from Romans 8:1-14}

HIS staff

Here we are, the staff of Highlands International School. Almost half of the group is new, but God is allowing us to mesh and work together as his body, with all our quirks and differences and gifts. Although the heartache of missing last year's teachers will never be fully gone, I am so thankful for each of these guys and the opportunity to serve alongside them.

Here are some highlights with my fellow staffers from the past month or so.

Dodgeball champions! Haha...not quite. Even the middle school teams beat us--twice. We may look tough, but our dodgeball skills were anything but. However, it was a great way to raise money for a local organization. (L to R: me, Sarah--roomie, Ashlyn--roomie, and 2 guys who actually aren't staffers but friends who were willing to join our team)

Murder mystery dinner, hosted by the English-speaking church to raise money for local charities. We all were assigned characters and had to dress and act the part for the evening. Whatdya know? I, Silky M. Adam (back, center), was the culprit!

Wacky Tacky Tuesday for staff. Yes, just the staff and no students. This was to get the kids hyped up about our Spring Carnival (I got to be in charge of the pony rides...so much fun!). My favorite costume was one of my roommate's. I call her "SpongeSarah Wackypants." (You can probably figure out which one she is). Coincidentally, this was the day a visitor flew in from the NICS home office. He sure got a surprise!

Thank you for your prayers for unity, energy and the overflow of Christ's love in each of our lives!

romans 7

I have been battling through the idea of the law recently, and so I looked in Romans to get some clarity. Now I think I'm more confused than before (which is not always a bad thing; I know I'll struggle through it until I find a satisfying conclusion). So I started reading chapter 7, and came up with so many questions: What exactly does Paul mean when he talks about sin "seizing an opportunity through the commandment" yet "the law is holy, and the commandment is holy and righteous and good"? And isn't it possible to serve God both with the mind and body, rather than, as Paul states, "I myself serve the law of God with my mind, but with my flesh I serve the law of sin"? Does the law refer to the Old Testament law or to legalism? Or both? And if Jesus is the fulfillment not the abolishment of the law, then what does that mean for me in regards to being free from the law?
There aren't any deep thoughts to obtain from this post. However, I'd appreciate yours. If you have insight, commentary, or Scriptural cross-references for Romans 7, I'd love to know...please comment!

the source of freedom and love

This year marks 200 years of independence for the country of Bolivia. (There was a big celebration while I was in the States. I'm glad to have been absent during that craziness!) But as so many are trapped in poverty, prostituion is still legal and the sweet families at the river are being threatened that the government will tear down their homes, I don't believe that this freedom celebration can be for all Bolivians. So many are still in bondage to the vicious cycle of poverty, which often includes alcoholism and physical and sexual abuse.

As I'm reading the book of Hosea, I've been reflecting on my own life and convicted of my own wandering, "prone to leave the God I love." As vulgar as it sounds, I ultimately prostitute myself to other gods--busyness, identity in others, self-absorption, apathy--when I don't allow Christ to be my Husband and Lord over every part of my life. I also find this true for the beautiful country of Bolivia. She seems so confused as to who God is, so lost as to where she can find hope, that instead she pursues other lovers--money, power, alchohol, drugs, and false religion, rather than the love and freedom her Maker so willingly offers.

My prayer is that Bolivia as a nation, and that I in all my waywardness, will hear the Lord speaking tenderly above all the louder, alluring voices, and will answer to him and call him Husband. Only then can we experience true freedom in the safety and love of Christ.
"And I will have mercy on No Mercy, and I will say to Not My People, 'You are my people'; and [s]he shall say, 'You are my God.' " ~Hosea 2:23

my new class

Here they are, my new sweet class of first graders (minus one)! They have been such a joy to teach and get to know these past 3 weeks. Some of my favorite highlights so far:

"Miss (pronounced "Meese"), I can have other pieza of tort?" ~Diego (pieza = piece and torta = cake: I love how they create their own cognates!)

And again, Diego, when asked why he was getting out of his seat, and he showed me the string to his glasses: "Meese, it is molesting me." (molestar = to bother)

"Meese, I love you so, so, so, so, so mooch!" ~Priscila (I wonder if I could ever teach upper grades where the kids aren't so openly affectionate.)

There will surely be more funny first grade quotes to come. I love 'em already; they're just so darn cute!

the humility of need

A dear friend recently reminded me of an important Scriptural phrase: "You have not because you ask not."
As a child, this was fairly easy to accept. Even though I wouldn't consider myself a greedy child, I rarely remembered having a problem asking for what I needed or wanted. When, then, does the idea of complete self-sufficiency and pride creep up and into our adolescent and adult lives? I've been struggling with this, especially the past couple days when "missionary funds" have been particularly low. Although I am fully aware of my need to act wisely with my money and that as an adult, I should break away from my parents financially, it is slightly more difficult with the field I have chosen, especially during the summer months. It's also quite a task to still be in need of financial support from others--and even to accept gifts from my ever-supportive family.
I don't like this feeling of being in need. It's uncomforable. Embarrassing. Shameful, even. It is at this place of total brokenness, though, where I can more vividly see the grace of God and the outpouring of that into my life by others.
I have been brought to my knees by the generous giving of so many, and just recently a good friend and my family, who have been so understanding of it all. Yet, what a humbling place to be in to have to ask! Why can't I just skip that step and "have?" I think "humbling" has a lot to do with it. How much more do I realize my lack of sufficiency and my real need of the Lord! And how clearly I can see God's care for me when I am at this point of need and he uses people to provide!
That monetary need is only a physical representation of the prayers I desperately need and covet. I am so thankful to everyone who has given to me, and ultimately to the ministry in Bolivia, financially, prayerfully or otherwise. I'm grateful that I can see the body of Christ working to pray for, care for, and give to others, whether that's to missionaries, their own families, churches, organizations or to a homeless person on the street.
I am grateful for the sting of humility that comes to rid me of pride. I am thankful for opportunities to see how God miraculously provides, even if it's an everyday miracle I wasn't anticipating. Upon reflecting on all I can learn from this, I suppose it's not so peculiar that Jesus referred to money so much during his ministry.
To paraphrase my friend again, "It's not our money anyway. It's God's; he's just loaning it to us." I think she deserves a penny for her thoughts.

FALLing into memories

in the spirit of halloween costumes, i found this one on my mom's dresser this morning. yep, that pudgy-pumpkin-blondie in the middle is me. i think i was excited about being between my two boy friends. they must have been quite mature for their age--one already had facial hair and the other white eyebrows. ah, i miss the days when those relationships weren't complicated. and when halloween costumes were decent and appropriate. sigh.

3...2...1...blastoff to kooky costumes

here it is, folks. the coveted photo my sister blogged about a few months ago. from left to right: kelly and jenny, modeling the popular and not-so-popular halloween costumes of the day, "cowgirl" and "space." it wasn't supposed to be scary, but i may have frightened a few little kids with this one. seriously, kel, how could you let me get away with this? ;)

parting is such sweet sorrow

The past few weeks have been a whirlwind of get-togethers, adventures, and goodbye sobbing. Most of the staff of Highlands International School is leaving, and for one of the few times in my life, I'm the one staying rather than going. It's a difficult time for all of us, and I'm sure the transitioning in August will not be an easy one either. However, as we Highlands staffers have said many a-time, it's better that it is harder to leave because that means the friendships we have established mean something. They are based on Christ. They are enriched by the vast amount of time we spend together as friends--no, as family. These relationships may not continue with visits and phone calls, but they will endure in the way we live our lives; we have been changed for the better by each other. Praise God for the amazing people he has called to La Paz and the ways they have shaped my life these past 10 months. To my brothers and sisters: The LORD bless and keep you; the LORD make his face shine upon and be gracious to you; the LORD turn his face toward and give you peace. Thank you for all the sweet times, friends!

Here's a recap of the past month:

Highland's Got Talent! We did our own version of the reality tv show, including kids' and teachers' dances (my roomies and I performed "Thriller"), magic tricks, music and skits. My favorite was a story-telling of Sunk: An Adventure in the Salar. My lovely friends created a book and did a reinactment of my quicksand incident. Hilarious.

We celebrated a friend's birthday at the German club bowling alley (I'm pretty sure it's the only one in La Paz). Good friends, good times. I love you and I'll miss you, Whit!A dear friend and fellow teacher has been teaching me how to play the guitar. Our debut was at a community group meeting when he dedicated the song to his wife. Thanks, Fisher. Can't wait to play our coffeehouse gig in NC someday.

We picnicked and hiked up to La Muela del Diablo (the Devil's Molar). I didn't quite make it to the top since the few rocks I climbed and slipped on were scary enough.My friends the Bellinghams had a party for their sweet little angel, Mya, who turned just turned 1! It was a joy to have her here in lieu of not being able to be with my niece. I love you, Jules, James and Maya! Blessings to you in New Zealand!

For my birthday the next day, an incredible teacher friend named Deborah (she knits, rock climbs, bakes and bikes--how much cooler can you get?) took my friends and me rock climbing. This was the real deal. I made it, so I had to kiss the carabiner.Just to prove how high it was (though it seemed a lot higher in real life), here I am on my way to the top.

And last but not least, this month I said goodbye to my dear first graders. As my first class, they brought me so much joy. Although this summer I need to do a lot of reflecting about my teaching practices and lesson plans that could use improving, I also don't want to forget to rejoice in what I learned from my kiddos this year, and hopefully what they learned from me. Praise God that through the way they see the Gospel lived out at school, they have the ability to accept it for themselves and thus make God's name famous in La Paz and all over the world! Dr. Seuss couldn't have said it better: "Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened."

a special birthday girl

I don't quite understand the bond my sister and I have as there is a six-year difference between us. The only explanations I can come up with are that she was and is incredibly patient and intentional with her little sister, and that our relationship is nothing less than a gift from God. Ever since I can remember, I have wanted to do everything my big sis did out of sheer awe of her. Though we have changed, we still love a lot of the same things, are weird about the same things, and say things simaltaneously (jinx!). Our lives have taken slightly different turns, especially this past year with me moving a continent away, but I know our depth of friendship will never change. For this I am forever grateful.

These are just a few of the reasons why I love her. Kelly is one of the most sacrificial people I know--to her family, her friends, her students, and her dance girls. She is the best listener and advice-giver of anyone on the planet; she listens without condemnation, and gives advice from the wisdom that God gives her. Kelly's gift of giving--her creativity, artistic ability, and thoughtfulness--make any present she selflessly gives all the more heartfelt. She loves others not only with gifts, but with her words of affirmation (mostly well-written cards that make you cry no matter how many times you read them), and with her gift of time. Reminiscing and missing frequent qualitiy times with Kelly makes me appreciate her all the more. Who would've ever thought a 13-year-old would take the time to really invest in her 7-year-old sister? Or that a 20-year-old college student would intentionally write letters of encouragement to her preteen sibling? Or that a wife, mother, and full-time counselor would take so much time to counsel her younger sister when she's being melodramatic? Kelly is a rare gem. I know God doesn't have favorites, but he gave her something extra special, and I think anyone who knows her would agree.

So for the 30 years that you have been a bright light to Mom and Dad and the whole family, for the 24 you have poured into me, for the 7 that you have devoted to Charlie, for the 2 you've selflessly given to Maddie, and for all the years you have served, loved, taught, listened and inspired all those you have known, thank you. I celebrate you and thank God for you, Kel. I love you with all my heart! Happy birthday, from me and 10 sweet first graders.

bolivia day

Just another special thing about my school. Every year we have Bolivia Day, a day of traditional dance, games and food from the different departments (states) of the country. I was a cholita antigua from La Paz. With a couple minor changes, this is still what many women here wear...not exactly the most flattering or comfy, mind you.

Everyone dresses up, including the little ones! I wish my video of them would upload because they danced the Jal'ka, a traditional baile from Sucre. They were absolutely adorable. The teachers actually danced, too, but unfortunately I don't have footage from that.

What an honor and joy to be part of such an incredible community and living in such a beautiful country!

luciana

Meet Luciana, one of the most loveable first graders on the planet. She is a bright girl, though she can often be found daydreaming in her own little world. She says the cutest things every day. I wish I had time to write them all down. There were a couple instances this week, though, that are unforgettable.
We were brainstorming words as a class that start with "wh" and one we came up with was "which." Somehow, in one of her unfocused states, she thought we were thinking of rhyming words with those words. So, she starts saying rhyming words with "which," and of course, in total innocence comes across the one that begins with "b" and says, "Miss, is b**** a word? B**** is a word, right, Miss?" It took everything in me not to burst out with laughter. I just reminded her of the exercise and we moved on.

The following morning, Luciana was praying for a classmate's prayer request:

"Dear God, Thank you for to help othered again Joaquin's uncle for he going to have a baby. Amen." Precious, right?

Dear God, Thank you for Luciana. Please help her to realize that all good things, including her sweet spirit, come from you.

never a dull moment

Oh, the adventures of living in Bolivia. I went to Uyuni with a couple friends over Easter break. We took a 3-day tour of the Salt Flats (google "Salt Flats Bolivia" if you've never heard of them...simply amazing), the deserts and a few lagunas. It was an incredible time of gasoline-tasting bread, the bumpiest car and bus rides I've ever experienced, and the most fascinating scenery I've ever seen. My friends and I played in the salt, stayed in hostels, climbed rocky mountains and even learned how to make delicious, homemade granola from the chef of a hostel restaurant.

However, the most adventurous part of the trip would be when I got stuck in quicksand. That's right. Quicksand.

Here's how it all went down. There's a sign that read, "Toilet 5 km." And below it said, "Stop!" So I'm thinking, Wow. They really don't want people using the bathroom here, as most backpackers tend to go anywhere and everywhere outside. I proceeded to walk out toward the little salt islands on the lake to get a closer picture of the flamingos. Bad idea. Two steps and I was up to my knees in gloopy, gloppy mud. Apparently "Stop!" does not have a thing to do with the bathroom. It means "Stop! Quicksand! Do not walk! If you take a step further you might die!" They should have been clearer. But I wasn't upset. All this was pretty funny, especially since just before a friend had said, "Tell us how mushy it is!" It was very mushy, though now no verbal explanation was necessary.

I had not yet realized it was quicksand because, from the movies I'd seen, I thought quicksand was something that swallowed you in one fell swoop if you happened to fall in. So, I began attempting to get myself free. My friends tried as well. No luck. After about 10 minutes of attempting, or struggling rather, in this sulfury, stinky sand, I managed to turn around, though not without coming close to breaking my knee cap, and free one foot. But as the tourists were snapping photos and my friends and I were cracking up at the hilarity of it all, I realized I was slowly sinking on the other side. And I was bummed because my shoe on that leg was halfway off. I really didn't want to lose my favorite tennis shoes.

By now lots of tourists had gathered around to witness the illiterate girl trapped in quicksand; and by now I was feeling a little bit like a circus animal. I probably resembled one with all my grunting trying to get free. I never really was afraid, but after a couple failed attempts by my friends to pull me out, I really was curious as to how I was going to get unstuck. I was now up to my hip on one leg. Then a lady from the nearby hostel, looking very distressed, came running to tell me not to move. Golly, if I had known before that it was quicksand, I would have known that I was making it worse. Some guys with masks followed the scared woman, tying an elastic band around my waist and pulling. It snapped in half. There was talk of having to get a car to pull me out, but the guys tried pulling me (hard!) several times by the arms. After I came to grips with the fact that I would not get to keep my favorite sneakers, they yanked me out and set me free! I'm lacking the lovely photo of the aftermath and the videos that my friends captured. That's okay. I'm not likely to forget much about this incident. Afterward, I threw the other shoe in, derobed in a freezing cold pond, paid three bucks to take a freezing cold shower in the hostel and gave my smelly, quicksand-covered clothes to the people working there. Good lesson to remember about not hanging on to material things.

Now, I wonder if they don't specify what "Stop!" means so they can keep dumb tourists' clothes. Not a bad idea.

river of delights

Let the rivers clap their hands, let the mountains sing together for joy. -Psalm 98:8Every Sunday afternoon my roommates and I go what we call the river, a shanty village near a sewer-river in La Paz. In broken Spanish (well, except for my roommate Ashlyn--hers is awesome!), we have the privilege of sharing books, math flash cards, and games of soccer with these precious kids.

As I read Scripture, I find several references to the river of God's love, the river representing life in Christ, the river of justice and righteousness. I know the heart of God is near to these precious children and their families, who have little to nothing, but many of whom are eager to be spiritually rich in the Lord. May his river of love flow to these dear little ones.
They feast on the abundance of your house; you give them drink from your river of delights. -Psalm 36:8

rainy, er, haily season

Goodness gracious great balls of granizo! That's "hail" in Spanish, and it comes down quite often here in La Paz during rainy season. Pretty much with every rainstorm you can expect a good batch of hail. It's pretty interesante, so I took a little video.

happy valentine's day

My parents are too good to me. Not only did they love me, support me, and encourage me throughout my childhood and into college, but they continue to show their love for me in so many ways. I so appreciate their skype messages, their emails, their expensive-to-mail boxes of school supplies, how proud they are of me, and their prayers. They are really incredible individuals, and I respect their love for the Lord, for each other, and for others.

After a pretty stressful week last week, I got a call from the school office saying someone had sent me flowers from an international company. I picked them up and, after deciphering a sweet message gone awry by a non-English-speaking writer, I realized my mommy and daddy had flowers delivered to me for Valentine's Day! I recalled those special Valentine's Days as a child of heart-shaped biscuits for breakfast, sweet cards, and little gifts packaged in red and pink, and remembered those as small examples of how much my parents showed their love for my sister and me. Among those precious times, this special delivery will make this year's a Valentine's Day I will never forget.

Thanks, Mom and Dad, for being so thoughtful and loving. I love you. With a love that "crosses the Atlantic Ocean and scales the Andes Mountains..."

risky business

I think since I live in Bolivia, I generally take more risks. Like when food falls on the floor, extending the 5-second rule. Or taking aerobics classes hardly knowing any Spanish. Or biking the Death Road. I'm definitely not a daredevil, but what my friends and I did a couple weekends ago would be classified as pretty risky. First, we ate at a Chinese restaurant called "Love City." Bear in mind, Bolivians speak Spanish. However, the restaurant with the sketchy name served very tasty Chinese cuisine. So all the while I'm wondering why it's called "Love City." And then, as we're leaving, I see it: Love City in all its splendor. Ice caves, a disco ball, multicolored lights and lots of mirrors to watch yourself dance. I wish I had photographed the inside of this "discoteca." It was a hoot. Keep in mind, the food was really good. So we all ate a fair amount.

Next destination: Galaxy Park, an amusement park chock-full of sketchy, old, other-countries'-reject rides. There were a couple times I literally thought I was going to die. Like on the squeaky ride with a rusty metal car that didn't seem to be closed all the way.

Or the ferris wheel when the guy running the ride stopped it to tell us to press the metal bar. Too bad Sarah and I don't know enough Spanish to understand what "Push the metal bar and...flip upside down" means. I almost wet my pants. The guy died laughing. Among others, we also rode the dreaded "Kamikaze" (the one that flips you and holds you upside down). I had never been on one of these in the States, so my bright idea was to get in a 30-year-old one that just recently got shoulder straps put in. I guess I figured if a Bolivian I know survived without shoulder straps on a sketchy ride that goes upside down, I'd be okay.

And I was. I had a blast. Minus a little, well a lot, of nausea I felt there at the end, I'd do it again. My friends without tummy aches braved the food and got a stick of chocolate-covered marshmallows. Love City and Galaxy Park, however, were not so loving toward me.

If you're reading this, sorry, Mom. What you don't know until afterward won't hurt you. :)

overdue post

A snippet of my lovely Christmas vacation...how quickly it passed, but I know that from now until June time will fly as well. As I continue to consider my conflicting feelings of missing friends and family and wanting to be in NC with loving life, even though it is difficult, here in Bolivia, they are all reminders to savor every moment...

On the plane to Miami with my roomie, Sarah. I'm so thankful for her! Can you tell we're excited to be going home?!?!

Incredible view of Mt. Ilimani from the plane. Sometimes I'm still astounded that I live with this in sight every day!
Welcome home! My beautiful sister and niece, wearing a homemade shirt that reads "I love my neen neen." (That's what Maddie calls me.) Along with Charlie, my parents, and the surprise of 2 other friends, I felt so loved and even happier to be home!
My oh-so-precious niece and my granddaddy. It was such a blessing to be with family.

I've always been awfully fond of my family, but distance definitely makes the heart grow more appreciative.

These are some of my dearest small group girls from my days at Covenant...it had been so long since I'd seen them. They are amazing, and I got to catch up with them a little over dinner at one of the many Mexican places I ate at when I was home. (Bolivian food is NOT the same as Mexican!)

One of my sister and brother-in-law's Christmas presents was tickets for my sister and me to "A Chorus Line" in Raleigh, which was so much fun. As was staying with my sweet friend Sara in Cary. I miss you all! There were so many lovely times, but since I am not great about remembering to take pictures, these'll do. I'm so thankful for the people God has put in my life.
"I thank my God every time I remember you..." --Phil. 1:3