romans 7

I have been battling through the idea of the law recently, and so I looked in Romans to get some clarity. Now I think I'm more confused than before (which is not always a bad thing; I know I'll struggle through it until I find a satisfying conclusion). So I started reading chapter 7, and came up with so many questions: What exactly does Paul mean when he talks about sin "seizing an opportunity through the commandment" yet "the law is holy, and the commandment is holy and righteous and good"? And isn't it possible to serve God both with the mind and body, rather than, as Paul states, "I myself serve the law of God with my mind, but with my flesh I serve the law of sin"? Does the law refer to the Old Testament law or to legalism? Or both? And if Jesus is the fulfillment not the abolishment of the law, then what does that mean for me in regards to being free from the law?
There aren't any deep thoughts to obtain from this post. However, I'd appreciate yours. If you have insight, commentary, or Scriptural cross-references for Romans 7, I'd love to know...please comment!

the source of freedom and love

This year marks 200 years of independence for the country of Bolivia. (There was a big celebration while I was in the States. I'm glad to have been absent during that craziness!) But as so many are trapped in poverty, prostituion is still legal and the sweet families at the river are being threatened that the government will tear down their homes, I don't believe that this freedom celebration can be for all Bolivians. So many are still in bondage to the vicious cycle of poverty, which often includes alcoholism and physical and sexual abuse.

As I'm reading the book of Hosea, I've been reflecting on my own life and convicted of my own wandering, "prone to leave the God I love." As vulgar as it sounds, I ultimately prostitute myself to other gods--busyness, identity in others, self-absorption, apathy--when I don't allow Christ to be my Husband and Lord over every part of my life. I also find this true for the beautiful country of Bolivia. She seems so confused as to who God is, so lost as to where she can find hope, that instead she pursues other lovers--money, power, alchohol, drugs, and false religion, rather than the love and freedom her Maker so willingly offers.

My prayer is that Bolivia as a nation, and that I in all my waywardness, will hear the Lord speaking tenderly above all the louder, alluring voices, and will answer to him and call him Husband. Only then can we experience true freedom in the safety and love of Christ.
"And I will have mercy on No Mercy, and I will say to Not My People, 'You are my people'; and [s]he shall say, 'You are my God.' " ~Hosea 2:23

my new class

Here they are, my new sweet class of first graders (minus one)! They have been such a joy to teach and get to know these past 3 weeks. Some of my favorite highlights so far:

"Miss (pronounced "Meese"), I can have other pieza of tort?" ~Diego (pieza = piece and torta = cake: I love how they create their own cognates!)

And again, Diego, when asked why he was getting out of his seat, and he showed me the string to his glasses: "Meese, it is molesting me." (molestar = to bother)

"Meese, I love you so, so, so, so, so mooch!" ~Priscila (I wonder if I could ever teach upper grades where the kids aren't so openly affectionate.)

There will surely be more funny first grade quotes to come. I love 'em already; they're just so darn cute!

the humility of need

A dear friend recently reminded me of an important Scriptural phrase: "You have not because you ask not."
As a child, this was fairly easy to accept. Even though I wouldn't consider myself a greedy child, I rarely remembered having a problem asking for what I needed or wanted. When, then, does the idea of complete self-sufficiency and pride creep up and into our adolescent and adult lives? I've been struggling with this, especially the past couple days when "missionary funds" have been particularly low. Although I am fully aware of my need to act wisely with my money and that as an adult, I should break away from my parents financially, it is slightly more difficult with the field I have chosen, especially during the summer months. It's also quite a task to still be in need of financial support from others--and even to accept gifts from my ever-supportive family.
I don't like this feeling of being in need. It's uncomforable. Embarrassing. Shameful, even. It is at this place of total brokenness, though, where I can more vividly see the grace of God and the outpouring of that into my life by others.
I have been brought to my knees by the generous giving of so many, and just recently a good friend and my family, who have been so understanding of it all. Yet, what a humbling place to be in to have to ask! Why can't I just skip that step and "have?" I think "humbling" has a lot to do with it. How much more do I realize my lack of sufficiency and my real need of the Lord! And how clearly I can see God's care for me when I am at this point of need and he uses people to provide!
That monetary need is only a physical representation of the prayers I desperately need and covet. I am so thankful to everyone who has given to me, and ultimately to the ministry in Bolivia, financially, prayerfully or otherwise. I'm grateful that I can see the body of Christ working to pray for, care for, and give to others, whether that's to missionaries, their own families, churches, organizations or to a homeless person on the street.
I am grateful for the sting of humility that comes to rid me of pride. I am thankful for opportunities to see how God miraculously provides, even if it's an everyday miracle I wasn't anticipating. Upon reflecting on all I can learn from this, I suppose it's not so peculiar that Jesus referred to money so much during his ministry.
To paraphrase my friend again, "It's not our money anyway. It's God's; he's just loaning it to us." I think she deserves a penny for her thoughts.

FALLing into memories

in the spirit of halloween costumes, i found this one on my mom's dresser this morning. yep, that pudgy-pumpkin-blondie in the middle is me. i think i was excited about being between my two boy friends. they must have been quite mature for their age--one already had facial hair and the other white eyebrows. ah, i miss the days when those relationships weren't complicated. and when halloween costumes were decent and appropriate. sigh.

3...2...1...blastoff to kooky costumes

here it is, folks. the coveted photo my sister blogged about a few months ago. from left to right: kelly and jenny, modeling the popular and not-so-popular halloween costumes of the day, "cowgirl" and "space." it wasn't supposed to be scary, but i may have frightened a few little kids with this one. seriously, kel, how could you let me get away with this? ;)

parting is such sweet sorrow

The past few weeks have been a whirlwind of get-togethers, adventures, and goodbye sobbing. Most of the staff of Highlands International School is leaving, and for one of the few times in my life, I'm the one staying rather than going. It's a difficult time for all of us, and I'm sure the transitioning in August will not be an easy one either. However, as we Highlands staffers have said many a-time, it's better that it is harder to leave because that means the friendships we have established mean something. They are based on Christ. They are enriched by the vast amount of time we spend together as friends--no, as family. These relationships may not continue with visits and phone calls, but they will endure in the way we live our lives; we have been changed for the better by each other. Praise God for the amazing people he has called to La Paz and the ways they have shaped my life these past 10 months. To my brothers and sisters: The LORD bless and keep you; the LORD make his face shine upon and be gracious to you; the LORD turn his face toward and give you peace. Thank you for all the sweet times, friends!

Here's a recap of the past month:

Highland's Got Talent! We did our own version of the reality tv show, including kids' and teachers' dances (my roomies and I performed "Thriller"), magic tricks, music and skits. My favorite was a story-telling of Sunk: An Adventure in the Salar. My lovely friends created a book and did a reinactment of my quicksand incident. Hilarious.

We celebrated a friend's birthday at the German club bowling alley (I'm pretty sure it's the only one in La Paz). Good friends, good times. I love you and I'll miss you, Whit!A dear friend and fellow teacher has been teaching me how to play the guitar. Our debut was at a community group meeting when he dedicated the song to his wife. Thanks, Fisher. Can't wait to play our coffeehouse gig in NC someday.

We picnicked and hiked up to La Muela del Diablo (the Devil's Molar). I didn't quite make it to the top since the few rocks I climbed and slipped on were scary enough.My friends the Bellinghams had a party for their sweet little angel, Mya, who turned just turned 1! It was a joy to have her here in lieu of not being able to be with my niece. I love you, Jules, James and Maya! Blessings to you in New Zealand!

For my birthday the next day, an incredible teacher friend named Deborah (she knits, rock climbs, bakes and bikes--how much cooler can you get?) took my friends and me rock climbing. This was the real deal. I made it, so I had to kiss the carabiner.Just to prove how high it was (though it seemed a lot higher in real life), here I am on my way to the top.

And last but not least, this month I said goodbye to my dear first graders. As my first class, they brought me so much joy. Although this summer I need to do a lot of reflecting about my teaching practices and lesson plans that could use improving, I also don't want to forget to rejoice in what I learned from my kiddos this year, and hopefully what they learned from me. Praise God that through the way they see the Gospel lived out at school, they have the ability to accept it for themselves and thus make God's name famous in La Paz and all over the world! Dr. Seuss couldn't have said it better: "Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened."