Nope, I'm not referring to the tv show, but to a feeling I experience all too frequently. Anyone who knows me well knows that I'm directionally challenged. Combine that with a poor short-term memory and this girl has a hard time finding her way around. I'm not sure what makes some places harder for me to get to than others, but I do know that often times in making my way to a new destination or an old destination from a different starting point, I get lost.
Tonight was one such night when my DI (Direction Impairment) kicked in full force. I was going to a place only a block over from a house that I go to weekly. It should've taken me no more than fifteen minutes to get there. How long did it actually take me? Oh, only thirty-five. I drove around and around, reading the same dang street signs time and again, turning the opposite direction only to wind up in virtually the same place! Not only was I driving for what seemed like hours, but my gas gauge also was sinking dangerously closer to the "E." After about a half hour, I realized there were two things I had done wrong: 1. I had not called anyone at my intended destination to get help for fear of looking incompetent and silly. 2. I had literally thought about asking God for some help, but reconsidered and decided I could find it just fine on my own.
It wasn't until after yelling some improper vocabulary and banging the steering wheel (don't worry...these are just symptoms of DI) that I thought it would be a good time to ask for help. Still too embarrassed to call anyone, I prayed. Unfortunately, no light or star from heaven appeared to show me the way. In fact, I still made a couple wrong turns, continuing to pray that God would help me out, and beginning to feel more at peace. And he answered! The street I was looking for was right under my nose. Hallelujah!
This circumstance may seem slightly melodramatic, but I think it needed to be for me to re-learn a valuable lesson: I can't drive life on my own. Boy, I sure do try. But doing life on my own strength is like having the gas gauge sitting on "E," driving around in circles, being too ashamed to call anybody for help, and growing more frustrated and angry by the second. I need Jesus (and others, for that matter). I can do nothing apart from Christ...not even navigate my way around town. Confidence in myself is not true, lasting confidence at all. Depending on the Lord to be my strength and my guide is the way that is best, and it's the way I really want to live. Getting lost is too frustrating, too time-consuming, and really unnecessary. I will inevitably get lost again (and many more times as long as I'm behind the wheel of a car). But when it comes to life, I want Christ to direct my paths, and to trust in his promise to do so.
Lord, I'm thankful for times when I get lost because I see anew that you are the only Way.
