hypothesis of inebriation

First of all, I apologize because this post is lengthy. Second, let me provide some background to this title. I've always been interested in knowing the answers to "why" questions, especially when it comes to people's behavior. So recently I've been out to a few bars with some coworkers. (Call me heathen or pagan if you will, but I have found it a great way to get to know these folks and share the love of Christ with them. But that's another topic for another blog...on to my psychological analysis.) At these bars I've observed all kinds of people, but what I find most interesting is that for a vast majority of barhoppers, the goal is to get drunk. And you might be thinking, well duh!?! In my naivity, I'd hoped for a few out there like myself who go for the social aspect of it, not to get completely intoxicated. For this majority population, I have come to a conclusion about their motivation for getting drunk. I believe it is to escape. And not just to escape from stress at work or problems in a relationship, but to be totally free from caring at all, for better or worse. When you're drunk, you don't care as much what you say or how you act because you care less of what others think. It's easier to be free with how you really feel about people or things, free to sing and dance around like crazy, free to have quality conversations with strangers who become fast friends. It's also an escape from the worries, problems, and issues of life. It's easier to forget and just not care about those things for a little while.

But then reality hits. You have a hangover the next day, completely regret the hurtful things you said to your best friend, and vaguely recall fooling around with someone who remains nameless. The pain is back. You are no longer carefree. You have the heavy burden of all of those cares and then some hanging over you...until the next night out that you can go get drunk and escape...

So the vicious cycle continues. The thing about this method of coping and escaping the cares of the world is that it's temporary; the pain always come back, sometimes worse than it was before.

Thank God there is hope. There is something, actually someone, who can offer us the freedom that we all crave. We don't want to worry about all of our issues and problems. And we don't have to. Jesus Christ offers us freedom from these burdens. He doesn't take all difficult circumstances or trying relationships away, but he intervenes and helps in the tough situations while also providing peace. We experience this peace when we remember that he is in control when we hand our lives --all of ourselves and life situations--over to him. (1 Peter 5:7, John 16:33, Phil. 4:7) This just means admitting that we can't do it on our own. We need a Savior. When we acknowledge our need for Christ, and ask him to lead our lives, we see how much he really does care for us and love us. We begin to see him working out our bad situations for good. We experience the freedom that comes in knowing Christ.

This freedom is not unlike the liberty that people want to experience via alcohol. In having a relationship with God, we find our identity as his children; therefore, we're more likely to speak and act without caring as much what others think. We're free to allow ourselves to be vulnerable and open up to others with whom we wouldn't normally speak. We're free to be joyful, to sing and dance around like crazy because we have life! The best part of it is, this freedom-life is an ongoing offer. Jesus offers abundant life, and will give it freely to anyone who asks and stops trying to find it on their own (2 Peter 3:9). Jesus promised us, "I came so they can have real and eternal life, more and better life than they ever dreamed of" (John 10:10, The Message). That life is not just after death, but now!

I write all of these things only because I sell out so many times for things that are not life-giving. The only thing that can give this full life, this freedom from worry, is a life in Christ.

Lord, thank you for making your children free and alive, characteristics we can't find anywhere but in you.

LOST

Nope, I'm not referring to the tv show, but to a feeling I experience all too frequently. Anyone who knows me well knows that I'm directionally challenged. Combine that with a poor short-term memory and this girl has a hard time finding her way around. I'm not sure what makes some places harder for me to get to than others, but I do know that often times in making my way to a new destination or an old destination from a different starting point, I get lost.
Tonight was one such night when my DI (Direction Impairment) kicked in full force. I was going to a place only a block over from a house that I go to weekly. It should've taken me no more than fifteen minutes to get there. How long did it actually take me? Oh, only thirty-five. I drove around and around, reading the same dang street signs time and again, turning the opposite direction only to wind up in virtually the same place! Not only was I driving for what seemed like hours, but my gas gauge also was sinking dangerously closer to the "E." After about a half hour, I realized there were two things I had done wrong: 1. I had not called anyone at my intended destination to get help for fear of looking incompetent and silly. 2. I had literally thought about asking God for some help, but reconsidered and decided I could find it just fine on my own.
It wasn't until after yelling some improper vocabulary and banging the steering wheel (don't worry...these are just symptoms of DI) that I thought it would be a good time to ask for help. Still too embarrassed to call anyone, I prayed. Unfortunately, no light or star from heaven appeared to show me the way. In fact, I still made a couple wrong turns, continuing to pray that God would help me out, and beginning to feel more at peace. And he answered! The street I was looking for was right under my nose. Hallelujah!
This circumstance may seem slightly melodramatic, but I think it needed to be for me to re-learn a valuable lesson: I can't drive life on my own. Boy, I sure do try. But doing life on my own strength is like having the gas gauge sitting on "E," driving around in circles, being too ashamed to call anybody for help, and growing more frustrated and angry by the second. I need Jesus (and others, for that matter). I can do nothing apart from Christ...not even navigate my way around town. Confidence in myself is not true, lasting confidence at all. Depending on the Lord to be my strength and my guide is the way that is best, and it's the way I really want to live. Getting lost is too frustrating, too time-consuming, and really unnecessary. I will inevitably get lost again (and many more times as long as I'm behind the wheel of a car). But when it comes to life, I want Christ to direct my paths, and to trust in his promise to do so.

Lord, I'm thankful for times when I get lost because I see anew that you are the only Way.

transformed to transform

That was the theme of the Intervarsity Cornerstone Conference I attended last weekend. I was blown away by the number of students there, living their lives for Jesus, completely willing to give up their weekend to serve, to be challenged, and to sleep on the floor of a church for two nights. We stayed at Florida Street Baptist Church in Glenwood, and a large part of Saturday was spent serving the community at different organizations. We had a speaker from Richmond come and share with us how our lives--our time, money, ideals, relationships--can be transformed by God's grace in order to transform the lives of others. He talked of giving away what you have because it all belongs to God. This really challenged us and made us uncomfortable. Giving more than 10 percent of my income? Really, God, are you kidding me? Moving to the inner city? Volunteering with a homeless shelter and really getting to know people there? Please, anything but that. These were the thoughts that I think many of us had as we processed God's heart for the often-neglected poor in our society, and our role in stepping out of our comfort zones to act in the name of Jesus.
I know that the Lord doesn't call everyone to the inner city; who then would minister to people in the suburbs? I know he doesn't expect us to give all of our time to shelters and feeding the hungry; who then would care for the people of the church, and serve in all of its other ministries? But I do think that God is calling us to do something to serve the needy. And not just serve them, but befriend them. I think that's part of what Jesus meant in his command to love your neighbor. (James 2:2-8) I'm praying that God would open my heart and eyes to those existing and perspective relationships in my neighborhood. I'm scared to be uncomfortable. In fact, every bit of my flesh fights discomfort. But even scarier to me is to neglect God's calling to love the least of these.
Lord, help me to die to my stubborn self, to give you control of my time, finances, and relationships so that my heart may be transformed to be more like yours.

just not urban enough

Well, I'd like to think that I am pretty urban for a white girl, but I thought that would be a catchy title for a post about The Urban Sophisticates, a local Greensboro group gone national. I think I'm still starstruck from meeting one of the members at a Superbowl party last weekend. :)
If you like old-school hiphop (how it's really supposed to be, not 102 jamz), then you should give them a listen. One of my friends told me they were playing in Greensboro this Saturday, but it's different according to their website's schedule. Anyway, just a little plug for them...they're bangin' and you should check 'em out live or via itunes!

hope for the hopeless

There is hope for the helpless
Rest for the weary
Love for the broken heart
There is grace and forgiveness
Mercy and healing
He'll meet you wherever you are
Cry out to Jesus, Cry out to Jesus

So I'm not a big fan of Third Day in general, but these lyrics could not be more true of where I am in life at the moment. Last summer God opened my eyes to a lot of areas of His heart that I had never seen before, at least not in places in my very own city. These are places of injustice, poverty, and despair. Since the summer, while living in Glenwood, I've seen a lot of brokenness--broken homes, broken families, broken spirits. My heart has been moved for God's people, His dearly loved, who are living in poverty or who are homeless, who are dealers or prostitutes, who are children without a father and few positive role models, who are single moms overworking to care for several children.
At first I was flooded with compassion. Then, a very unfunny thing happened, maybe from seeing the brokenness everyday. Or quite possibly because I filled my life with so many other things so the despair would not be as apparent to me. But I began to grow numb to it all, or as I've heard it referred to, I was caught in the "urban trance." Numbness became apathy, and then a complete hard-heartedness followed, which I've found stems from my doubting that Jesus really does have a plan for the people in Glenwood.
But He does. And it's a plan of hope.
Jesus is our only hope. Even though it sometimes doesn't add up logically (I'm an over-analyzer), I know through both Scripture and experience that Jesus Christ equals hope. There's nothing else that will meet all needs and desires, nothing else that will bring deep joy and peace, no one else that can give a reason for living like the Lord. And although that sounds too good to be true, He offers that to my friends in my neighborhood and to me on a daily basis. He is the life-giver, and I believe His plans for the people of Glenwood--the helpless, the weary, the broken-hearted--are to hear their cries and provide them with hope and a future, working all things together for the good of those who love Him.

Lord, thank you for being Hope when things around us seem hopeless.